Passion is an amazing thing. As I sit here in my apartment surrounded by candles and literature on schizophrenia and dopamine, nursing my espresso and iced coffee to keep me focused throughout the night, I am reminded of how incredibly important passion is. I am attempting to write an 8 page literature review on schizophrenia, and while this topic intrigues me and this class has taught me a lot, I find that I am struggling to find passion for this paper. I adore writing and I enjoy reading, however, writing for my psychology courses is actually my least favorite part of my major. I often use "flowery" language and complex sentences that are praised in literature and language courses, but frowned upon in scientific studies. If I only had the passion that my professor and my fellow classmates have, I might feel more confident in my ability to produce a brilliant literature review.
This realization got me wondering, "What AM I passionate about?" ...But first "What does it mean to feel passion? What does that look like?"
"Powerful", "barely controllable", and "compelling" are a few of the many words I located amongst the various definitions for "passion". Two of these words captured my attention immediately... "Barely controllable". When I hear or read this, I imagine an emotion overwhelming someone so immensely, that they are unable to contain it; to spout whatever emotion is so passionately raging inside without the ability to withhold it. I have felt this before, but not with a literature review.
I am passionate about my God. My Father, my leader and King, my one true Love. He fuels the fire in my heart and brings out a passion in me that I can hardly describe. I am constantly playing with the line of bursting into song or dance for Him; shouting out His words and promises to His children.
"Barely controllable" can bring with it many different reactions. To feel out of control is often a frightening and daunting thought...But we were not designed to manage every aspect of our lives. There is only one who is capable doing this and doing it so that we live our lives freely, wildly, and to the fullest.
God is always reminding me that He has me. And has always had me. And always will. Surrender is a beautiful and freeing thing that was meant for a passionate soul. We surrender because our passion drives us to a state of restless zeal and joy that can only be truly embraced through sweet surrender to our Father and King's strong and capable hands. He has us and holds us tight and keeps us moving in the best direction for our hearts and spirits.
I welcome this "barely controllable" life with a joyful spirit and grateful heart. I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for me as I explore my new neighborhood and grow in my new community and minister here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpATmuPr84Q
No comments:
Post a Comment