Passion is an amazing thing. As I sit here in my apartment surrounded by candles and literature on schizophrenia and dopamine, nursing my espresso and iced coffee to keep me focused throughout the night, I am reminded of how incredibly important passion is. I am attempting to write an 8 page literature review on schizophrenia, and while this topic intrigues me and this class has taught me a lot, I find that I am struggling to find passion for this paper. I adore writing and I enjoy reading, however, writing for my psychology courses is actually my least favorite part of my major. I often use "flowery" language and complex sentences that are praised in literature and language courses, but frowned upon in scientific studies. If I only had the passion that my professor and my fellow classmates have, I might feel more confident in my ability to produce a brilliant literature review.
This realization got me wondering, "What AM I passionate about?" ...But first "What does it mean to feel passion? What does that look like?"
"Powerful", "barely controllable", and "compelling" are a few of the many words I located amongst the various definitions for "passion". Two of these words captured my attention immediately... "Barely controllable". When I hear or read this, I imagine an emotion overwhelming someone so immensely, that they are unable to contain it; to spout whatever emotion is so passionately raging inside without the ability to withhold it. I have felt this before, but not with a literature review.
I am passionate about my God. My Father, my leader and King, my one true Love. He fuels the fire in my heart and brings out a passion in me that I can hardly describe. I am constantly playing with the line of bursting into song or dance for Him; shouting out His words and promises to His children.
"Barely controllable" can bring with it many different reactions. To feel out of control is often a frightening and daunting thought...But we were not designed to manage every aspect of our lives. There is only one who is capable doing this and doing it so that we live our lives freely, wildly, and to the fullest.
God is always reminding me that He has me. And has always had me. And always will. Surrender is a beautiful and freeing thing that was meant for a passionate soul. We surrender because our passion drives us to a state of restless zeal and joy that can only be truly embraced through sweet surrender to our Father and King's strong and capable hands. He has us and holds us tight and keeps us moving in the best direction for our hearts and spirits.
I welcome this "barely controllable" life with a joyful spirit and grateful heart. I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for me as I explore my new neighborhood and grow in my new community and minister here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpATmuPr84Q
"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed His love among us: He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us." 1 John 4:7-12
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3JBdi6fWSU
Love! What a beautiful creation by our amazing Father. To be able to experience love in life is such a gift. We can't always find the love we need from others, but the Lord is always steadfast and his love never ends. We can't even begin to comprehend how great it is. It's wider, deeper, taller, stronger than anything in this world.
To know he loves me unconditionally and freely instantly relieves me of all heaviness that the world can place on my heart and spirit. He is my one true Love and I am so grateful to be aware of his insurmountable adoration for me.
Rejoice in your identity as a loved child of God!
Time has been, is, and will always be a deep mystery to me. It has been 7 months. Sometimes it feels like it has been two years. Sometimes it feels like it has been a week. I do not understand how it can change every day, but it does. Some days I am completely numb to every emotion attached to that night. And others, I find myself completely overwhelmed with more feelings than I can keep contained. Praying for some peace this week. Feels like my heart is extremely vulnerable and conscious right now. I need some of what's in my heart and what's on my mind to dissipate. I know the Lord provides strength that no thought or feeling can overcome.
..."O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be
Let that grace now, like a fetter
Bind my wandering heart to Thee
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart, O take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbN0nX61rIs
Dancing for the Lord is such a beautiful act of worship. I find that more often than not nothing surpasses the incandescent glory that I find when I am jumping and spinning and twirling for my Lord. So often we allow ourselves to be trapped by fear or insecurity during worship, but there is only joy and humility to be felt. And what better way to express these overwhelming emotions than moving around and dancing with and for the Lord. Glory!! Dance in the sunshine today, Christ is risen.
PSALM 150
Praise the Lord.
Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens. Praise him for his acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness.Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise him with the harp and lyre, praise him with timbrel and dancing, praise him withe the strings and pipe, praise him with the clash of cymbals, praise him with the resounding cymbals.
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord.
