The cold.
It hugs my windows, leaving icy diamonds around their frames.
I sit and I wait.
The frost starts to creep into my home.
You left me all alone in this darkness you lured me into.
You called for me in the dark and I came to your rescue.
I hugged your body and held your hand and kissed your forehead.
Every warm thought, every warm touch, every warm feeling I had, I gave to you.
I lit every candle I had and made a path for you to follow out of the darkness.
But as you left the darkness, you blew out each candle until there was no more light left.
I thought you would take my hand and bring me with you.
But you did not want me to come.
So I sit and I wait.
The frost begins to crawl onto my skin.
It leaves icy diamonds all over my weak body.
I feel a cold sting and ache over my bones and muscles as I try to move.
I realize you took all of my warmth with you.
I try to call out but only an icy fog escapes from between my cold lips.
The fog crystallizes and I see each word I want to speak, frozen and floating away from me.
They try to follow your tracks, alas there is only darkness ahead.
Silence. Just silence.
It screams so much louder than any word you could yell at me.
It hurts more than any injury you could give me.
It numbs more than any medicine could sedate me.
The frost has now trickled its way into my heart.
Icy hot pain shoots through my chest as I hold onto the feelings your silence inflicts upon me.
It churns and boils deep inside of me, ready to bubble over.
I take my shaking fingers and lift them to touch my mouth that no longer calls for you.
My lips are like ice.
They hurt from the cold so I lick them to feel warmth.
Remnants of the last time I kissed you coat my lips still, but they are no longer sweet.
How bitter you taste to me now as I spit out what is left of you in front of me.
I sit in shock of myself.
I have never wanted to be rid of you so much in my life.
I don't know how to feel about these new feelings flooding my cold, betrayed body.
They give me a horrible strength that could lead me from the darkness.
But if I embrace them, I will be irrevocably numb to you.
The thought of such numbness brings upon my body an unbearable ache that I have never felt.
It feels as though my ribs are cracking and my heart will burst.
Warm tears begin flowing from my eyes as I desperately pray for my heart to thaw.
There has to be another way out of the darkness.
I will not discard my good heart to mend the wounds you have left on me.
So I sit and I wait and I think.
The cold.
It frightens me.
Because it is swirling inside of my heart
Waiting for me to give in.
I can not.
I will not.
