Letter Thirty Four

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGikYoLRrJk

You took my heart and you held it in your mouth

And with a word all my love came rushing out

And every whisper, it's the worst,

Emptied out by a single word

There is a hollow in me now

So I put my faith in something unknown

I'm living on such sweet nothing

But I'm tired of hope with nothing to hold

I'm living on such sweet nothing

And it's hard to learn

And it's hard to love

When you're giving me such sweet nothing

Sweet nothing, sweet nothing

You're giving me such sweet nothing

It isn't easy for me to let it go

Cause I have swallowed every single word

And every whisper, every sigh

Eats away this heart of mine

And there is a hollow in me now

And it's not enough to tell me that you care

When we both know the words are empty air

You give me nothing

Letter Thirty Three

"A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes

I screamed aloud, as it tore through them, and now it's left me blind

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out

You left me in the dark

No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight

In the shadow of your heart

And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat

I tried to find the sound

But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness,

So darkness I became

 I took the stars from my eyes, and then I made a map

And knew that somehow I could find my way back

Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too

So I stayed in the darkness with you"

I truly have become darkness. I am blinded and I am paralyzed. I am in the darkest place I have ever been in and I am completely alone. I have no one.

I sit and I stay in this darkness just to hear your heartbeat every once in awhile. And even when I do, it isn't beating for me. 

It's searching for a heart that is not mine; a perfect heart that exists somewhere in your future. 

My heart is not what you want. For some reason, I am not enough anymore.